Since I'm
still working on a wedding post (or what I hope will one day become one), I realize I should first introduce my husband as the man I chose to marry--and why. I could have called it "Why I Chose Marriage" because with all the negativity in society, sometimes it's hard to understand why two people would risk so much together. Trust me, if it wasn't Justin I was risking my heart with, I wouldn't have done it--or at least not for another five years. Everything was meant to be, and it worked out. It seems as though God led me to someone that takes all of my faults and contradicts them. Justin has a way of making everything I do wrong, right. At the same time, Justin has flaws that I accept, and I happen to be the perfect compliment. The list below gives you a detailed version (or at least as much as I can come up with in the next few minutes) of why I, the indecisive border-line feminist, decided to get married. Happily to say, I am comfortable, confident, and blessed in my life and my new marriage. It was worth the wait, and I am now the woman that my little-girl self always dreamed about. My secret age for getting married was 27, but at 24, I am happy to commit to my best friend. I'm not sure where life will take us, but I'm ready for it and thankful to share it with him.
My List: Why I Chose My Husband
This is Justin.
He is the happiest, most positive person I have ever met. Justin is a rare breed of human; he almost always looks to the positive, and it takes a lot to bring him down. He has strength and power I wish I possessed more often. Although I claim to be better at the realistic side of things, that usually means I'm the one who brings up any negative posibilities. Justin has a way of getting through life with a smile on his face, even in the midst of a stressful day at work or a long night without sleep. It's amazing to me. Although I will probably never be as positively moving as him, I have learned so much from observing and experiencing him. I have changed so much in the past four and a half years; it's unbelievable. I am more confident in what I do, and I feel empowered. I look to the bright side of things more often than the negative, and I more often laugh at an embarassing or sticky situation than I used to. Life is more open to me than ever before, and I rarely think about death (the negative). My relationship fills me with life--because of Justin. He makes the reasons why God has us here on this earth real and believable.
He has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, and he loves with it unconditionally.
How do I even start with this one? Justin is the most loving person I know. He loves so many people and cares for them so much. Not only does he love my family as his own, but he loves my friends. When I look past something I should do for a friend, he's there to remind me with a helping hand. He helps so many people, and he's always willing to help more. Now, I'm not saying he goes out and volunteers to help at a homeless shelter every week (though I'm sure he would), but he shows his loving helpful heart in so many other, quiter ways. It's always a pleasure to have someone like him around, and I only regret taking him for granted sometimes. However, as we all learn in life, and part of learning is writing about it, I am happy to say how thankful I am for him. I am much more willing to help others now that I have learned from him.
He has a quiet side and a over-the-top loud side. Justin is such a fun mixture of things, and one of those things is the ability to be the loudest person in the room or the most quiet. It's rather odd, actually, but I love it. I'm learning slowly how he reacts to certain people and certain places and figuring out why (maybe?), but the fun in learning is what makes it interesting. Sometimes, he is so quiet, I have to keep things going. Other times, I can barely get a word in! It's fantastic and fun, and I'm not sure I'll ever figure it out. It compliments me so well, though, because I like a quiet guy so that I can take the fame, but I always wanted a loud guy, maybe because my family was so quiet growing up.
He wants kids more than I do. True story. This guy wants to cuddle kids more than me, and I thought I always wanted to have children! Thank God my realistic side says no, or he would be having a kid with me right now! Haha. This is so important to me because I've always wanted someone to be there as a good dad--someone who has the energy and positive spirit that children need, and someone that will help me along the way--from growing a belly, to needing help getting the kids ready for school. I am more than confident in his ability to be a great dad, and that makes me so happy. I know, and I can admit, that he may be a better parent than me one day, and I'm completely okay with that. He has the patience needed, and the overwhelmingly large amount of love. Our kids are going to be super lucky.
He has been by my side for three surgeries. Yup, I'm mid-twenties, and I've been through three. I had two foot surgeries that took a year to recover from, and I had my appendix removed last summer. Let's just say this: it wasn't easy. My foot surgeries caused me to gain weight, cry, and complain. I became so... dependent on him (which I hated) because I couldn't do anything for myself since I couldn't walk. I had to get help with even the smallest things like getting up in the morning. I was in the hospital numerous times for different check-ups and visits for an infection, and he was always by my side. I'm sure he got annoyed by things, but I never noticed--he always was willing to give more. Last summer for my appendix, he was so proud of me for getting through it and reading my body (the doctor wasn't going to send me to the hospital), and he stuck by me the whole time. I couldn't sit up on my own without him, so he didn't leave me. We took the bad and turned it into moments of pure laughter because I wanted to watch t.v. but stupidly put it on comedy central (horrible idea for someone who has had surgery in the stomach region)--among other things. It seems silly, but just going through those trials when we were dating has shown me he will stick by me through anything. I am humbled every day by his helping heart, and I, one day, will return the favor.
He is so damn smart. He's humble about it, and he never looks down on me. Everyone knows I'm an English major. A hard part about being one of those is that people assume you are a walking dictionary for spelling and any grammar question possible. Truth is, I have a lot of learning to do, and I should study more each day. What is so wonderful about sharing life with Justin is that he doesn't judge me. I could ask him how to spell "word" or what it means to be an "adjective" (obvious exaggerations), and as many people would laugh or look at me dumbfounded, he would simply reply, "w-o-r-d" or "well, it means a describing word." He knows that I don't know things (where the hell is Turkey?) but he doesn't care--and that's awesome! Now, once he tells me, he does like to know that I've learned something new, but he doesn't judge me in the least if I don't know something. It feels good not to be judged for what I don't know, but rather to be praised for what I do. As far as his smarts, I don't even know where to begin, because I usually am left saying, "huh?" or "what?" if he tries to explain a physics problem or discuss how politics work. It's great to be humbled by someone who is so intelligent!
He allows me to spill emotions and thoughts, without getting scared away. I'll have to share a memory with this one. When we first moved in together--about a month in--I decided that it sucked. I was not ready to have to tell everyone that I lived with "my boyfriend," and I felt a little tied down. Truth is, I was very content with my choice to do so, but I just needed that extra attention and positive reinforcement from Justin. He wasn't realizing this, and he instead proceeded to play the next video game or wash the dishes. So I talked to him. I spilled to him everything I wanted to and had built up in my brain -- even hurtful things -- I'm not happy, I'm bored, I feel trapped, I'm annoyed, I don't know who I'll meet here, what if this was a mistake? and so on. As you can see, it was hurtful and I slashed down on him like no other. However, he read what I was feeling. He knew what I was going through. He just...understood it right then and there. He told me that it was okay to feel that way, and that he would work to make me feel more comfortable. He reassured me that we made the right decision. After that, I've never felt insecure about who I am with him. I'm always reminded that I can tell him anything, and he will be there for me.
He's not afraid to cry. No need to say more.
He is an amazing mixture of a hot beach dude, a mountain man, and a book worm. How is this even possible? you might ask yourself. Well, it certainly is, and I'm lucky enough to have one. Justin can wear a Quicksilver shirt and be the hottest tall, dark, and handsome beach guy around (without beard). He can put on a dirty, plaid, long-sleeved shirt (with beard) and look like he strolled out of the mountains to build our cabin with the tree he just cut down (hottt), and he can also sit with his glasses on (lack of beard is more believable in this scenario), book in hand, mouth slightly opened, and be the nerdiest person around. All of these qualities are those which I looked for in a person to date, and somehow I got all three in one!! How silly I was to only dream of one type of guy when I was little!
He may not be able to sing or play a guitar, but he darn well tries. For those of you that have not had the opportunity to grace your ears with Justin's voice -- and he sings all the time -- you will be confused to hear that he is one of the most out-of-key people I have ever witnessed, and I'm okay with that. You want to know why? Because he sings to me and the animals, he hums while he cooks, and he makes beats whenever he thinks necessary (or what he thinks are beats). He appreciates my singing so much and uplifts it, and he has grown to love the music that I love. I'm just happy to have someone that doesn't care what they sound like, and they allow their happiness to spring forward through music -- no matter how interesting of a sound they make. It's such a small thing he does, and in no way am I trying to be mean (he pokes fun at himself), but it is such a telling point about his personality. He lets it all out there, and he's not afraid to shine. That's what I love about his singing.
He sees the good in me--every moment of it, and he is amazed by me everyday; I don't have to try to impress him (even though I do sometimes). Justin is so proud of me. He's confident in who I am and what I am capable of. He says I have the "warrior blood" that is going to make our children strong (he's afraid of needles and the dentist). There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't lift me up for something I've done or show his applause -- even for simple things such as making a really tasty glass of chocolate milk. Even when I make mistakes, he is there to lift me up, or to talk about it. He doesn't pull me down negatively or remind me of who I
could be; he loves me for who I am.
So, there is it, my little list of love. Some may wonder why I wrote this, or think it's boastful, and some may even enjoy it. It's hard to explain why I write it--I'm not one to boast openly about things, and I usually despise when others do. Maybe this is my way of giving back. Maybe this is my way of sharing good with the rest of the world. People like Justin need the recognition for being who they are and what they do. What's funny is this -- Justin isn't a blog-reader or a facebooker. He may never see this, and I probably won't tell him I wrote it. I'm not writing it in hopes that he will see it, but rather in hopes that people will see who he is and what he has done. It's people like him that make life worth living--he improves the world, and I'm lucky to be by his side as his wife.
