I have one month left (give or take) before my life is going to completely change. Thank God for family and friends who are willing to help me keep my sanity and get prepared.
Dana came over today to help get the nursery organized. We went to get some tupperware containers to hold bigger clothes/onesies, and we organized the smaller onesies, packed hospital bags, washed loads of laundry, etc. It was a lot of work, but I feel very productive--even though Dana did much of the work. I just don't have much energy these days.
My biggest complaint lately is the lack of sleep. I feel so tired, but by the time I'm in bed, my back aches, my chest hurts, and it's just not a good environment for sleep. I basically didn't sleep much at all for two nights straight, which led me to take a Tylenol PM last night. And...I slept like a rock! I even slept in a little..until 8:15 a.m., which is a huge deal! Of course, by the time 3:00 p.m. rolled around, I was really starting to feel the many days before with no sleep, but hey, one day at a time!
My only other complaint is the emotion. I am starting to feel those emotions that occur once a month, usually, but for me they're every day or close to it. The tears come on over nothing; I take things more personally...you know the drill. I'm going to assume it's the hormones mixed with my ever growing motherly instincts. I'd like it to take a chill pill, though.
Lastly, Justin has started track season as head coach. This is great for him, but man I hate how late he gets home! I also know that for the next month, he'll be gone every Wednesday night (late) and Saturday for meets, so I'm going to have a lot of alone time to wonder when I'm going to go into labor, and also wonder whether or not he'll be able to get to me quickly. Luckily I have back up drivers, etc., but it makes me feel very vulnerable knowing he might be far away when the time comes.
Let's just hope it's on a weekend or in the middle of the night. Until later...
Monday, March 31, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
6.5 weeks and counting
Am I really going to meet him in under two months?
Lately, my emotions have been tossing and turning from complete excitement and joy to utter terror--mostly of the process of labor. After reading some last night and watching some articles with information and advice, I felt much better. It's going to be a crazy ride.
In other news, J and I had off today for snow. It's been one of the snowiest winters I can ever remember, and it's been a blessing since I've been pregnant the whole time. The school has struggled to get us in for a full week since...November? I can't remember when it all started. Since I'm working six days per week, this has been amazing. I don't know that I could have kept my second job if we didn't have all these days off. I am, however, ending the second job in April.
My baby shower is coming up, and I'll admit, I've always had mixed feelings about showers. Alright, I pretty much don't like them--any shower for that matter. My bridal shower was fun, but it was also quite uncomfortable for me. I didn't like all of the attention being on me, and I really didn't like opening all the gifts in front of everyone. There's this idea in my mind that #1 it makes people feel like they have to buy something and #2 people compare what others get and buy. I really don't care what people buy me, and I wish the pressure wasn't put on them to bring anything at all. But that's the point of a shower, it seems, so I guess I need to just accept and indulge. I've never, ever liked opening gifts in front of people. It always made me uncomfortable, thinking I might open something I don't understand or I'd open something I already had, but wouldn't want to upset the other person. I'm not very good at hiding emotions or lying, so it's always made me feel weird to showcase the gift-opening time.
With that said, I'm really excited. Why? I get to have a good group of women near me, who I hang out with and love, and they all get to meet each other and socialize. That part is awesome. There are people coming who I didn't expect would, and that shows me how gracious they are with their time and how sweet they are to come at all.
I also need to realize that this shower is not about me...it's about Charlie. People LOVE babies, and they love seeing friends having babies, so why wouldn't it be fun? Truth is, I actually do enjoy baby showers, for a short amount of time, and as long as there aren't a lot of games. I prefer no games, to be honest. That's why we're not really doing any at mine! :)
What else is new? All I talk about these days are items on the baby brain.
I am happy to say that I'm more in love with Justin than ever before. Yeah, we have our days, but he is so incredible. He's the only person I could go through all of this with--pregnancy, fear, emotion, tears, whatever. He's so calming and kind. He's also extremely patient. I've watched him with other kids lately, and it makes my heart swell. He actually held a friend's newborn the other day, which is something he has never done--well, with someone he doesn't know. The closest to that he's held is my sweet cousin, who was a couple of months old, during my grandma's visitation. Other than that, he seems too shy. Yet, he held the sweet newborn girl the other day, and it was adorable. He leaned back while her body spread itself all over his chest. He looked completely natural.
He also makes me laugh more than anyone else. Sometimes his jokes are so (dumb) silly, but they crack me up just the same. He's always happy when I think he's funny. He doesn't realize how funny he really is--even when it's not a dumb joke. He's so witty, and it amazes me every day.
We enjoy time together (and hopefully will continue to, after baby) doing little things--board games, drawing on each other (yes), and cooking/baking.
Today, we decided to bake cookies. He picked thumb print, and I wanted peanut butter. So, we halved the recipes (we only had two eggs left) and made both. I know that he loves seeing me follow and recipe and bake; I usually have no interest in doing so, and he really enjoys it, so he likes when I actually want to every now and then. We also like doing these things together, so we'd help with each step. It's not in a sicky, I-have-to-be-with-you-all-the-time way, but rather a I-really-enjoy-working-as-a-team kind of way.
They were really good cookies.
In other news, Ginny visited this weekend, which was awesome! She was only here for an evening, but it was so worth it. She took us out to dinner, which was totally generous and kind of her, and we had Japanese steak house. We talked, made dirty jokes, and ate ice cream. Then she left the next morning, and that's when I left to take mom out for her birthday.
Mom and I went to brunch at a local restaurant, and it was sooooo good. We had creme brulee french toast with homemade whipping cream and strawberries. It was to die for. We then drove around and shopped for the afternoon. It was fun since we didn't have a deadline, and it wasn't like we were shopping after school. I think she had fun, and it was a memorable day.
I'm glad we went yesterday since we got slammed with snow today--on St. Patty's day, no less!
With each day, I still miss my grandma, but a good realization cry every now and then never hurts, and it actually makes me feel much better.
I hope you enjoyed your St. Patrick's Day! [Maybe Patrick will be his middle name?]
d
Lately, my emotions have been tossing and turning from complete excitement and joy to utter terror--mostly of the process of labor. After reading some last night and watching some articles with information and advice, I felt much better. It's going to be a crazy ride.
In other news, J and I had off today for snow. It's been one of the snowiest winters I can ever remember, and it's been a blessing since I've been pregnant the whole time. The school has struggled to get us in for a full week since...November? I can't remember when it all started. Since I'm working six days per week, this has been amazing. I don't know that I could have kept my second job if we didn't have all these days off. I am, however, ending the second job in April.
My baby shower is coming up, and I'll admit, I've always had mixed feelings about showers. Alright, I pretty much don't like them--any shower for that matter. My bridal shower was fun, but it was also quite uncomfortable for me. I didn't like all of the attention being on me, and I really didn't like opening all the gifts in front of everyone. There's this idea in my mind that #1 it makes people feel like they have to buy something and #2 people compare what others get and buy. I really don't care what people buy me, and I wish the pressure wasn't put on them to bring anything at all. But that's the point of a shower, it seems, so I guess I need to just accept and indulge. I've never, ever liked opening gifts in front of people. It always made me uncomfortable, thinking I might open something I don't understand or I'd open something I already had, but wouldn't want to upset the other person. I'm not very good at hiding emotions or lying, so it's always made me feel weird to showcase the gift-opening time.
With that said, I'm really excited. Why? I get to have a good group of women near me, who I hang out with and love, and they all get to meet each other and socialize. That part is awesome. There are people coming who I didn't expect would, and that shows me how gracious they are with their time and how sweet they are to come at all.
I also need to realize that this shower is not about me...it's about Charlie. People LOVE babies, and they love seeing friends having babies, so why wouldn't it be fun? Truth is, I actually do enjoy baby showers, for a short amount of time, and as long as there aren't a lot of games. I prefer no games, to be honest. That's why we're not really doing any at mine! :)
What else is new? All I talk about these days are items on the baby brain.
I am happy to say that I'm more in love with Justin than ever before. Yeah, we have our days, but he is so incredible. He's the only person I could go through all of this with--pregnancy, fear, emotion, tears, whatever. He's so calming and kind. He's also extremely patient. I've watched him with other kids lately, and it makes my heart swell. He actually held a friend's newborn the other day, which is something he has never done--well, with someone he doesn't know. The closest to that he's held is my sweet cousin, who was a couple of months old, during my grandma's visitation. Other than that, he seems too shy. Yet, he held the sweet newborn girl the other day, and it was adorable. He leaned back while her body spread itself all over his chest. He looked completely natural.
He also makes me laugh more than anyone else. Sometimes his jokes are so (dumb) silly, but they crack me up just the same. He's always happy when I think he's funny. He doesn't realize how funny he really is--even when it's not a dumb joke. He's so witty, and it amazes me every day.
We enjoy time together (and hopefully will continue to, after baby) doing little things--board games, drawing on each other (yes), and cooking/baking.
Today, we decided to bake cookies. He picked thumb print, and I wanted peanut butter. So, we halved the recipes (we only had two eggs left) and made both. I know that he loves seeing me follow and recipe and bake; I usually have no interest in doing so, and he really enjoys it, so he likes when I actually want to every now and then. We also like doing these things together, so we'd help with each step. It's not in a sicky, I-have-to-be-with-you-all-the-time way, but rather a I-really-enjoy-working-as-a-team kind of way.
They were really good cookies.
In other news, Ginny visited this weekend, which was awesome! She was only here for an evening, but it was so worth it. She took us out to dinner, which was totally generous and kind of her, and we had Japanese steak house. We talked, made dirty jokes, and ate ice cream. Then she left the next morning, and that's when I left to take mom out for her birthday.
Mom and I went to brunch at a local restaurant, and it was sooooo good. We had creme brulee french toast with homemade whipping cream and strawberries. It was to die for. We then drove around and shopped for the afternoon. It was fun since we didn't have a deadline, and it wasn't like we were shopping after school. I think she had fun, and it was a memorable day.
I'm glad we went yesterday since we got slammed with snow today--on St. Patty's day, no less!
With each day, I still miss my grandma, but a good realization cry every now and then never hurts, and it actually makes me feel much better.
I hope you enjoyed your St. Patrick's Day! [Maybe Patrick will be his middle name?]
d
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
7.5 weeks to go
I am in the home stretch, and I'm getting more excited and nervous with each day.
I've been reading labor stories, which is probably a bad idea.
I've been putting off breathing techniques, probably because I'm getting nervous.
I've been packing up my classroom, getting ready for when I leave in a little over a month.
I've been planning like crazy, hoping to keep life sane in the coming weeks. The over-planning tends to happen when I foresee chaos.
With that said, I've been very excited. Charlie moves much more these days. I can feel his limbs often, which is amazing and wild. I see him move around all the time. It's like he's more of a person in there.
I still can't tell how he's positioned, but I have an appointment on Friday, so maybe they can tell me.
We put the carseat in the car to get used to the idea. We got some clothes from a very generous friend. We got nursery items from another very generous friend. I borrowed some maternity clothes from a sweet friend, hoping they will last me until the end. I seriously cannot find anything to wear these days!
I try not to drop anything because it is such. a. pain. in. my. butt. but. mostly. my. stomach to bend over at all.
I've been eating too much these days. I blame it on the kid this time.
I'm up entirely too late.
I've been reading labor stories, which is probably a bad idea.
I've been putting off breathing techniques, probably because I'm getting nervous.
I've been packing up my classroom, getting ready for when I leave in a little over a month.
I've been planning like crazy, hoping to keep life sane in the coming weeks. The over-planning tends to happen when I foresee chaos.
With that said, I've been very excited. Charlie moves much more these days. I can feel his limbs often, which is amazing and wild. I see him move around all the time. It's like he's more of a person in there.
I still can't tell how he's positioned, but I have an appointment on Friday, so maybe they can tell me.
We put the carseat in the car to get used to the idea. We got some clothes from a very generous friend. We got nursery items from another very generous friend. I borrowed some maternity clothes from a sweet friend, hoping they will last me until the end. I seriously cannot find anything to wear these days!
I try not to drop anything because it is such. a. pain. in. my. butt. but. mostly. my. stomach to bend over at all.
I've been eating too much these days. I blame it on the kid this time.
I'm up entirely too late.
was that a hand? a foot?
9 weeks left
[written week of March 24]
It was one of the most beautiful, surreal moments. I was lying in bed this morning, waiting for Charlie to stop moving, simply because I couldn't seem to stop watching and waiting for more. He was moving a lot, so he must have really liked the way I was positioned.
It's not often that I can easily see him moving and turning and kicking right under my skin. It's kind of creepy, actually. But every now and then, the reality of it hits me.
This morning, I would put my hand on the right side of my stomach, lift up, and he would push back in the same spot. I did this over and over, and he was persistent in kicking back.
One time, though, we touched. As lame as that sounds, it was the opposite. I reached down to the ride side of my stomach, pushed in, and he immediately pushed back. We pushed on each other for a few seconds, then we separated. It was the most surreal, incredible thing I've almost ever experienced. It was such a small moment, but my eyes involuntarily welled up with tears.
One of the first thoughts I had later while looking in the mirror, getting ready for school, was that I wanted to tell my grandma. I know she can see everything and hear everything going on, but I just wish I could talk to her. I really, really wish I could call her.
[written week of March 24]
It was one of the most beautiful, surreal moments. I was lying in bed this morning, waiting for Charlie to stop moving, simply because I couldn't seem to stop watching and waiting for more. He was moving a lot, so he must have really liked the way I was positioned.
It's not often that I can easily see him moving and turning and kicking right under my skin. It's kind of creepy, actually. But every now and then, the reality of it hits me.
This morning, I would put my hand on the right side of my stomach, lift up, and he would push back in the same spot. I did this over and over, and he was persistent in kicking back.
One time, though, we touched. As lame as that sounds, it was the opposite. I reached down to the ride side of my stomach, pushed in, and he immediately pushed back. We pushed on each other for a few seconds, then we separated. It was the most surreal, incredible thing I've almost ever experienced. It was such a small moment, but my eyes involuntarily welled up with tears.
One of the first thoughts I had later while looking in the mirror, getting ready for school, was that I wanted to tell my grandma. I know she can see everything and hear everything going on, but I just wish I could talk to her. I really, really wish I could call her.
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