hugs change everything

I was having a pretty rough day yesterday, for no particular reason.

Then my co-teacher handed me something that would change my entire afternoon: a set of keys for workbooks we had been using for the past year without keys; we had made many of our own. This was huge! So many hours had been put into trying to make the best keys, comparing them with other teachers, etc., so we were relieved.

I brought them to my friend, J, a fellow English teacher, who proceeded to give me the biggest hug EVER. It was amazing. All of his positive energy flew around me and put the best smile on my face. Well, happiness is contagious, because as I walked down the hall, I couldn't stay away from hugs.

One of my students from last semester walked by and asked what his homework was, jokingly, and I gave him a big hug and told him I missed him. Other students saw me hug him, and they called out, "Hi, Mrs. T!" I got about five or six hugs in about a minute. They were all from the same class from last semester, which I thought was really odd, but awesome. That class was one of my favorites. They all opened up and were so REAL, and they knew I was real, so we got along well.

I then brought the keys to my other friend, P, another English teacher, who said, "I could hug you right now."

Ha! This was huge for him to say, so I just laughed.

It was such a great afternoon, after such a yucky day. This job is absolutely worth it most days. The kids teach me to smile and laugh. They tell me good morning, even when I'm exhausted. They hug me, even though I'm a teacher. They still say hi, even though they're not in my class anymore. I've learned so much more than just the literature in this building. Thank goodness I'm here.

My friend told me that I was "definitely in the right profession!" How true.

and, just like that, he's growing up

I had my first experience of sitter jealousy today, if that's what you're supposed to call it.

Charlie and I were on our own this morning because J left for a conference at 5:30 a.m. It was actually really nice. I woke up later than usual, got ready, Charlie woke up, and we leisurely left for work. J and I had made this possible by packing everything into the car the night before. It was a pleasant morning, which is not what I expected.

On most mornings when we get to the sitter's house, it is obvious that he loves her. He smiles and squeals and flirts with her. It's adorable, and it makes me happy. It makes me believe that he is okay during the day without me, and she is like his part-time grandma.

Today, though, it felt a little different. He didn't really care to look at me when I was leaving, and not only did he smile and giggle at her, but he also buried his sweet head in her chest and held on, like he was giving her a big hug. Then he just stayed there. He cuddled with her! For a moment, my heart wrenched, and my pulse got a little faster.

Is he in love with another woman?

Indeed, he is.

How can I handle this? I'll have to just smile and carry on, like normal. The other side could be that he cries and screams when I leave, which would make me cry and feel miserable. He could also hate being with her and look tired and frustrated every afternoon.

It's quite the opposite, and I need to be thankful.

I'll admit that it will be really, really hard to see him like that at times. It's probably because he was a bit of a mess two nights ago, and I was concerned that he was getting too stubborn. Last night was great, and so was this morning, so I know he just had a bad night. However, because of that bad night, I've been trying to comfort him and give him as much attention as I can, so it was a little bit of a slap in the face to see him turn around and give all that affection to someone else.

At least he's safe.
At least he's happy.
At least he's got a third grandma.
At least he's social and loves other kids.
At least I enjoy my job.
At least I get to see him at 3:45.
At least we get time every evening.
At least I have summers off.

At least he's safe and happy.

Charlie's (almost) TEN month update (I'll be in the next room soaking up my tears.)

It's hard to find time to sit and write this post, mainly because I've been chasing after an almost ten-month-old! Here are a few things about him:

1. (This first one is NOT to seem like a boastful parent; I know these moments are fleeting!) He's been sleeping like an angel. He goes to bed around 6:30 (we pushed it up; now that he's moving so much, he's exhausted), and he won't get up until 8:45 on the weekends. During the week, he'll wake up when we get him up around 6:15. I think the secret is how big he is. How could he be uncomfortable? He can happily and dreamily roll in his rolls. The question: when will this end? I know it must be soon.

2. He LOVES to move, and by that I mean he gets annoyed when he isn't moving. He suddenly got fussy in his car seat for a week or two, and I realized it was because he was newly mobile. He was suddenly rebelling! He's over that now, thankfully.

3. He FREAKS OUT when daddy comes around--in a good way. He just loves Justin so much. He shakes his arms up and down like he's going to fly away! It's adorable.

4. He thinks he's talking, but he's not really saying much yet. We will carry on an entire conversation of "eh" "eh" back and forth until we're bored. It's hilarious. Yes, I talk to him "normally," too, but it's just too fun to not "eh" back at him every now and then. It's clear that he is beginning to understand communication, but he just isn't talking much yet. He'll say "hi" or "yeah," but I don't really know if he gets what he's saying.

5. This is his schedule as of today [on a work day]: wake around 6:15, babysitters by 7:10, bottle and breakfast around 8:00, eat lunch and bottle around 12:00, bottle around 3:00, dinner at 5:00, bottle at 6:00, bedtime anywhere between 6:20-7:00. In between 6:00 and bedtime, we have the bottle, play with blocks, read at least three books, say "night night lamp," turn the lamp off, and he turns over on our chest, ready to go to sleep. We don't even try cuddling because he just keeps moving. Then, to bed we go!

6. He's always laughing. This kid has the BEST laugh in the ENTIRE world--though I guess I'm biased. He truly is hilarious, happy, and WONDERFUL. If I could hear his laugh at ANY time of the day, I would be immediately happy. The babysitter calls him a "happy little fella."

7. Along with walking while holding our hands (YES!!), he can also crawl with grace and sit up from a lying down position. This is a big deal! Overall, he's just understanding how to move more.

8. His current favorite book: "Peek-a-Moo." Even Justin admits it's one of the worst pieces of literature ever written, but damn if he loves it! We have to read that stupid book every night. :)

9. He has almost grown out of his "wizard suit" as Justin calls it--(and now, so do I). He's talking about this awesomely trippy body suit I bought at a thrift store before Charlie was even born--or right after, I forget. It's a cold-weather fuzzy zip-up outfit to keep him warm, and it's SO colorful and AMAZING. It's definitely been worth the $8.00 I spent on it, and we gets compliments all the time. He's almost too long! This is not okay.

10. His hair is starting to fall flat. It's getting longer, which means more weight, which means it isn't sticking up as high as it used to. I'm slowly watching it fall, and it's one of the most heart-breaking thing I've ever experienced. It's almost signifying his first year of life. I bet by the time he's one, it'll be flat. It's especially beautiful when I look back in my car to see my little companion, fluff and all. It's just amazing. I'm going to miss it. His hair is insanely soft and fluffy--just like feathers.

11. He loves to drop toys on the ground. We (usually) don't pick them up. We're not those kind of parents who accept bad behavior! (Okay, so we can't help but pick them up. Otherwise he throws a fit! ;)

12. He has started really liking textures more. He goes out of his way to feel the baskets.

13. He saw snow for the first time this past month. We didn't want him out in it, but Justin let him touch and taste the snow. He also really loved watching it fall from our window.

14. He continuously laughs as his own farts. I think Justin taught him this one. He'll fart, wait a second, then crack up. Then, of course, we all laugh. It's a terrible cycle.

15. If his hands are cold, he very specifically reaches down my shirt to find the warmest place in the room. It's hilarious. It's like he remembers where all the cuddling began. It's also awkward at times because my shirt gets pulled down.

16. He appears to love going to the babysitter's. Phi is amazing, and he basically LOVES her. He looks at her with more happiness than his own family! Some people would be bothered by this; for me, it's my place of contentment. Each day I get to come home to a happy boy brings me peace. When I'm at work, I'd rather him love the person he's spending eight hours with than hate her. It really has been a blessing to have found her.

17. He is so heavy. He is (well he was, about a month ago) in the 97th percentile for height and weight. Whoa, man. Today in the grocery store, there was a baby behind us, and the dad started talking to us. I asked how old his baby was. He told me twelve months, and I quickly and awkwardly looked at the baby, then said "aoh" (I don't know what I sounded like), and turned around. He then waited a few seconds and said, "How old is yours?" I said, "almost ten months." We both laughed nervously because my kid was double the size of his one-year-old. So, I spat out, "Yeah, he's HUGE." We both laughed about it, and he said his kid was in the 14th percentile for one-year-olds. Wow. What a huge different this makes!

18. He wooed his first two women the other day at Panera. All he had to do was give them a flirtatious look, drop his toys, and wait for them to pick them up for him. How little they know! That manipulative monster. Either way, it worked, and he had some steady admirers.

19. He's had a diaper rash for most of his life. It's a really weird rash. One doctor said it was a yeast rash. The second said it wasn't a yeast rash. The third didn't give a lick and told us to buy some ointment. None of these things were right. So I'm now trying Vaseline, and it appears to be settling down. It has never been a bad rash, but it has never gone away, either. Eh, whatever. What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger! Sorry, buddy...

20. He likes to share. It's not like he really knows what sharing is, but he loves to hand us his toy, watch us talk to it, then hand it back. It's adorable. Sometimes this goes on for half an hour.

21. He found his penis. And he plays with it. Often. No, seriously, if the diaper is off, the penis is fair game.