Two joys of the week:

(I'm not afraid to admit that I love this next video)

Phew

It has been extremely busy around this household lately. I feel like I haven't had time to just have me time. I'm not saying it hasn't been enjoyable; it's just been busy. Some people like to be busy all the time. Some people find it more interesting, and others even have pride in how busy they are. I, on the other hand, don't always like to be busy!

Last week was a whirlwind. I barely talked to my mom or my friends, and I spent most of my time at school with my students. I called a large amount of parents, which mean more students staying after (a good thing), but it meant I was at work until evening hours at least four days of the week. The funny thing is that it wasn't that bad. I enjoy my students, so the more time I can have to get to know them or help them succeed actually doesn't feel like work to me. It's really powerful and really rewarding in small ways.

Friday through Sunday were spent at the family reunion on the farm. The beauty out there is unreal. It's just so peaceful and lovely. If I could live somewhere like that, but still be close to civilization, I would. The weather was divine, too. It couldn't have been better. Overall, it was a great weekend, but once the "party" was over, I got sick again Sunday, then I had to start work Monday a.m.

I've been coughing all week, which is another part of what made last week crazy. I've had a cold for about two weeks now, which I think is the normal time-span, but I really couldn't tell you. I just hope it's not allergies. It's really hard to teach when you keep getting a tickle that makes you cough so hard you almost gag. I even coughed through my nose (don't ask) one day, and I think I actually scared my class.

On a side note, I'm really enjoying the 9th and 10th graders. They're a mess sometimes, but they're usually very sweet, and they actually still seem to want to do well in school -- or at least the group I have do. By the time they reach twelfth grade, they just want to be out of school; They see the finish line, and for them, school is already over. I have to say, though, I really miss having seniors. There's something about teaching a grade level that you know will be graduating soon, and what you say to them about the future actually makes sense. When I try to mention any of that to my 9th graders, they look at me with this disgusted face as if to say, "Hello, we have four more years in this place. By that time, we'll have other brilliant teachers that we'll remember and care about way more than you." I know that seems dark, but sometimes it feels like I'll be one of those forgotten teachers, which is perfectly fine, but... it was different with seniors. Even though I'm still forgotten by some - many - who knows, I don't have to know about it! They are off enjoying their lives in a new world, and I am dreamily thinking about where they might be and how happy they are. I don't have to see them in the halls everyday. Does this make sense at all? I'm almost thinking I'm crazy by now.

Anyhow, I've taken some photos recently, and I have a shoot this coming Sunday, so I'm really excited.  Things are picking up and looking up, but I know I'm in it for the long haul. Things won't happen fast--they may never pick up completely--but I'm doing what I love, and that's all that matters to me right now.

I'm lucky enough to have two jobs (sort of, yes) which require me to do a huge amount of work, but both of which do not feel like work to me most of the time. They don't feel like jobs. They feel fun and freeing and enjoyable. That's what life is all about!

Oh, to have the life of a cat...

Gone, but never absent from the mind

During this past week, my grandfather has come into my thoughts a lot. He would have been 84 years old last Monday. The mourning process is interesting... when he first passed, I was really upset, and I took a couple of days off of work. It was hard to think he was actually gone, and things felt a little empty. My parents' house was unusually quiet. After a while, I just didn't think about it anymore. I didn't want to be sad or reminded of him at an inconvenient time (in front of students), or anything like that. I just pushed it back and didn't think about it. Lately, it's been weird. I keep having little tiny memories of him, and I keep thinking he's back at the house. Sometimes I am reminded that I'll have to tell my kids stories of him, and I just don't know if they'll ever understand how interesting or goofy of a character he was, and that makes me sad. It's also, however, a time where I smile when I remember. It's that time where I can think about him and talk about him without getting upset, and it's a time where I almost think of him as still being here. It's not denial; I know he's gone, but it's this comfort - maybe it's because I know he's in a better place. Thinking about all of this brings me to a poem that I used to teach to seniors:

"Holy Sonnet 10" by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy'or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Each morning, I pass a brown house on a curve near the beginning of my neighborhood. I usually note the nicely-kept yard, or the piles of wood stacked for the upcoming season. The first thing I ever noticed about the house, however, was the cars. Not only did these people have one Land Rover...they had three. Three beautiful white Land Rovers for me to drool over each time I passed. Oh, did I drool.

On Monday, the owner of these vehicles died after getting crushed by one of his Land Rovers that he was working on. He didn't have it held up properly.

To be honest, now when I drive by I think of where his wife was at the time of the accident (in a comment, I saw that she was a teacher at one time). I picture myself in her shoes, and I feel a pit in my stomach for her loneliness and her empty house.

It's a really sad world we live in, and it's weird to see things like this happen. When it's "out of sight, out of mind," no one really thinks about it.

The good that comes from me passing this house each day is that I will have a constant reminder of life and its fragility. The only other good thing I can see about this is that he died while doing something he loved. It was very obvious he had a love for those cars, and unfortunately, it turned out taking his life.

Keep loving, people. Realize we are not invincible, like we think we are.

Labor Day Weekend

There are many things I could have done this weekend, but getting sick last Friday (I felt the itch during school) changed my plans. I will say, however, that the weekend was enjoyable for the most part. I can't complain too much.

Most of my time was spent indoors, but I ventured out a couple of times.

J and I went to his high school football game on Friday. It was a good time; they provided food for teachers + families, and we got to hang out with a few other people our age. I threw the frisbee with some people, and it made me realize how much I miss it. I'm also not bad!

On Saturday, I just could not move. I stayed on the couch or in bed all day. I was exhausted, and I felt miserable. I watched hours of television.

I was supposed to sing on Sunday, but I had to back out of that. Instead, J and I slept in to try to get healthy. We then drove an hour to help Laurie move into her new house! It was really exciting, and she was sick too, so we kind of helped each other through the day. Surprisingly enough, I felt great later in the day. I was really motivated to help her unpack, so I was moving boxes left and right while she unpacked them. The house was really nice, and the neighborhood was peaceful. We went to lunch together, and overall, it was a great day.

I then woke up today feeling worse than yesterday! The cold has moved into a cough and nose thing. The strangely comforting thing, though, is that there are other teachers posting on facebook that they also got sick this weekend, so I know I'm not alone. Today, I drove to get some fresh, hot coffee, then I hung out with J at home for the rest of the afternoon. We cleaned and did school work. A little earlier this evening, we went to get the best ice cream in town. It's always a fun little date for us.

Tonight, I've been working on setting up some photography information for future use. I'm getting pretty excited about it. I'm also watching a kickin' football game.

Hope you had a great long weekend! Four-day week ahead of us...