Am I really going to meet him in under two months?
Lately, my emotions have been tossing and turning from complete excitement and joy to utter terror--mostly of the process of labor. After reading some last night and watching some articles with information and advice, I felt much better. It's going to be a crazy ride.
In other news, J and I had off today for snow. It's been one of the snowiest winters I can ever remember, and it's been a blessing since I've been pregnant the whole time. The school has struggled to get us in for a full week since...November? I can't remember when it all started. Since I'm working six days per week, this has been amazing. I don't know that I could have kept my second job if we didn't have all these days off. I am, however, ending the second job in April.
My baby shower is coming up, and I'll admit, I've always had mixed feelings about showers. Alright, I pretty much don't like them--any shower for that matter. My bridal shower was fun, but it was also quite uncomfortable for me. I didn't like all of the attention being on me, and I really didn't like opening all the gifts in front of everyone. There's this idea in my mind that #1 it makes people feel like they have to buy something and #2 people compare what others get and buy. I really don't care what people buy me, and I wish the pressure wasn't put on them to bring anything at all. But that's the point of a shower, it seems, so I guess I need to just accept and indulge. I've never, ever liked opening gifts in front of people. It always made me uncomfortable, thinking I might open something I don't understand or I'd open something I already had, but wouldn't want to upset the other person. I'm not very good at hiding emotions or lying, so it's always made me feel weird to showcase the gift-opening time.
With that said, I'm really excited. Why? I get to have a good group of women near me, who I hang out with and love, and they all get to meet each other and socialize. That part is awesome. There are people coming who I didn't expect would, and that shows me how gracious they are with their time and how sweet they are to come at all.
I also need to realize that this shower is not about me...it's about Charlie. People LOVE babies, and they love seeing friends having babies, so why wouldn't it be fun? Truth is, I actually do enjoy baby showers, for a short amount of time, and as long as there aren't a lot of games. I prefer no games, to be honest. That's why we're not really doing any at mine! :)
What else is new? All I talk about these days are items on the baby brain.
I am happy to say that I'm more in love with Justin than ever before. Yeah, we have our days, but he is so incredible. He's the only person I could go through all of this with--pregnancy, fear, emotion, tears, whatever. He's so calming and kind. He's also extremely patient. I've watched him with other kids lately, and it makes my heart swell. He actually held a friend's newborn the other day, which is something he has never done--well, with someone he doesn't know. The closest to that he's held is my sweet cousin, who was a couple of months old, during my grandma's visitation. Other than that, he seems too shy. Yet, he held the sweet newborn girl the other day, and it was adorable. He leaned back while her body spread itself all over his chest. He looked completely natural.
He also makes me laugh more than anyone else. Sometimes his jokes are so (dumb) silly, but they crack me up just the same. He's always happy when I think he's funny. He doesn't realize how funny he really is--even when it's not a dumb joke. He's so witty, and it amazes me every day.
We enjoy time together (and hopefully will continue to, after baby) doing little things--board games, drawing on each other (yes), and cooking/baking.
Today, we decided to bake cookies. He picked thumb print, and I wanted peanut butter. So, we halved the recipes (we only had two eggs left) and made both. I know that he loves seeing me follow and recipe and bake; I usually have no interest in doing so, and he really enjoys it, so he likes when I actually want to every now and then. We also like doing these things together, so we'd help with each step. It's not in a sicky, I-have-to-be-with-you-all-the-time way, but rather a I-really-enjoy-working-as-a-team kind of way.
They were really good cookies.
In other news, Ginny visited this weekend, which was awesome! She was only here for an evening, but it was so worth it. She took us out to dinner, which was totally generous and kind of her, and we had Japanese steak house. We talked, made dirty jokes, and ate ice cream. Then she left the next morning, and that's when I left to take mom out for her birthday.
Mom and I went to brunch at a local restaurant, and it was sooooo good. We had creme brulee french toast with homemade whipping cream and strawberries. It was to die for. We then drove around and shopped for the afternoon. It was fun since we didn't have a deadline, and it wasn't like we were shopping after school. I think she had fun, and it was a memorable day.
I'm glad we went yesterday since we got slammed with snow today--on St. Patty's day, no less!
With each day, I still miss my grandma, but a good realization cry every now and then never hurts, and it actually makes me feel much better.
I hope you enjoyed your St. Patrick's Day! [Maybe Patrick will be his middle name?]
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