Teacher-Momdom

I've been a teacher for five and a half years and a mom for two. I am also married to a teacher. I don't know much, but I know more than I did, and I will keep learning. I used to think that teaching was the hardest thing in the world, and the most rewarding, but then I had Charlie. Being a teacher-mom has been the most challenging, heart-breaking, emotional job. Yet, I am the happiest I've been in a long time. What's going on?

Being a parent has complicated my teaching habits of grading after school, getting to school early, and having dinner out with friends every few days. Being a parent has also made it harder to be a teacher in the classroom. I am less organized than before, I don't get grades done as quickly, and I rarely have time to socialize.

With that said, I also know I'm a better teacher now that I've had my own child.

I no longer sit around gasping endlessly about my seemingly bad day or stressful encounter at the copier. I no longer enjoy hearing gossip and negative commentary. I no longer put down my own job. I no longer think I'm the boss. I no longer have a warped perspective. I no longer expect parents to make their kids spend their entire night doing homework. I no longer think my class is the most important part of their day. I no longer need to prove myself. I no longer think teaching is the highest priority in my life. I no longer have expectations for myself I know I can't keep. I no longer let one person ruin my entire day.

I now feel thankful for my job to help pay for the car and house and everything else that comes with being an adult. I now try to smile and be a little more positive throughout the day. I now realize that putting my job down makes my job suck. I now know that my pride should not be on a pedestal. I now have a broadened viewpoint. I now imagine C when he's older, and I want there to be family time instead of homework. I now remember that students have three other classes. I now realize I don't have to be perfect or prove anything to the kids. I now know family comes first. I now say no when I need to. I now let things go.

Parenting is hard. It's much harder than teaching, but doing both at the same time is a huge challenge. When the whole family had the stomach bug in the fall, I thought I would never make it. When C had croup and we had an ambulance ride on a Friday night, I panicked and thought things would never get better. When C is sick and I have to take yet another sick day, I fear for my job and my reputation. When we lose hours of sleep as a family, I dread hearing the alarm the next day.

Yes, the parent-teacher job is hard. That doesn't mean it has to be a negative, terrible, woe-is-me career...

It's actually beautiful. It's beautiful in so many ways.

When I make the long drive to the sitter's house to drop of my son, I know that he'll be proud of me one day for what I do. When I see him smiling and excited to get dropped off, I know I've made a decision that won't hurt him. When I'm at school, surrounded by many broken, fun, quirky teenagers, I am reminded that they have parents who need me to do the best I can. I need to give them encouragement and confidence to pass a test, while also being the "mom" or "mother goose" or "aunt" they need while at school. When I look across the room at the fidgeting, the sleepy eyes, or the hyperactivity, I see my toddler. I see who these kids once were when they were little, and how the world has changed them--yet somehow many seem innocent. I see my toddler as a teenager one day. I see myself in them, when I was fifteen years younger, enjoying high school for everything but the academics, wishing for a teacher who could give me a story to bring home. When I leave school, I get to go to my son and spend a few short hours with him before bed. These hours are precious, and they are the best part of my day. The entire time I'm awake, though, I think about my students.

Being a teacher-mom is a challenge, but it's definitely one worth taking. I will never stop learning, and I'd never stop loving.