Should it be Two?

Don't fret. I'm not pregnant.

But we have been talking about the possibility of a second child. We have one boy who is about to turn two, and we are in disbelief. The past two years have flown by, though the days have been and can be very long. I'm not a fan of the newborn days, but it seems to keep getting better.

I want to be emotionally, physically, and financially ready.

Before we had Charlie, I told J I needed the security of having our own house. We lived in a town home and still didn't conceive for that reason. I wanted our own home, and I also told him we both needed steady jobs. We waited until we had all of these things, and we even worked a couple of years to make sure the jobs were set. Having Charlie after all of that made it feel right. I also felt much more at ease.

Now I feel like I have to say, "when I get in shape again..." or "when our car payment is over..." or "when we pay off some debt." The truth is, yes, these things will help, but will they ever be fully finished? Even if we pay off the car, the other might break down, and there we go again. Although we will pay off some debt, we will accrue more, via either a lawn mower, a car repair, or health-care costs.

Either way, it seems like we're stuck. Teachers don't really get "raises," sadly, so the only hope for more money is if the state and government approves a tiny increase in salary, which would basically just cover increased health costs.

So, the question remains: are we going to have another child? If so, when? Should we wait until Charlie is three? Four? Going into elementary school? If we wait, will we want to start all over with the baby stage?

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.