2015, baby!

It's crazy to think that when I wrote a blog post last year, I didn't have a child. My, how life has changed! It's almost difficult to look back on the past year; so much has happened, but it all wraps around Charlie. I'll try to think a little harder...

When I sat to write last year's post, which seems like yesterday, I was burdened with grief. I was pregnant, and I was sad about everything that had happened. I was hoping, so badly, that this year would be better.

I'm happy to say that year 2014 was much easier to get through, but it still had its turmoils.

Sadly, my dear friend Mr. M passed away in early January, soon after I wrote the post. We helped him as much as we could, but pancreatic cancer is a very fast-acting, evil affliction, and it would not be stopped. As this Christmas rolled around, I remembered sitting in his kitchen with him, ready to feast on what we brought him. A friend picked up a ham dinner, and we sat around his table like family, as if nothing were wrong. Unfortunately, he didn't have much of an appetite, which we all noticed, but at least we were able to be together. He passed only a few weeks later. Since my grandmother had recently passed away, this was very difficult to face, but what it did do was show me how to love a little more and be more open with people about that love. I used to think more without acting. If I love someone as a friend, I try to show them a little more than I used to. Every day is a gift, and the people in my life are gifts. They can be lost at any time, and I appreciate them every day.

By late spring, I had a beautiful baby boy. The natural birth process was incredible, although very difficult, and I would do it again (I think?). He has changed our lives tremendously, and only for the better. Sure, there are things we do differently now, but we have adjusted, and it has been a crazy fun experience.

Over the summer, we sat on the couch...a lot. We did a lot of movie-watching, marathon show watching, and even some video gaming. We didn't go anywhere. Let's just say we had a stay-cation. It was okay, though, and we did little things, like go to the local lake and have a date on a hill. We made the best of what we had.


After the above reflection, let's look back on last year, and let's look ahead to the future.

Here's my list from last year (the beginning of 2014). Let's see how I did (I've written comments):

1. Have a healthy baby, and find the patience and love involved in being a new mom. I have completely become enveloped in the incredible experience of being a mom. Charlie is healthy, so far, and we are so, so happy.

2. Organize/add shelves to the mudroom/laundry room. Well, we did organize it, and we added a bookshelf-like thing. It holds our boardgames. The little box has also been moved to this area.

3. Continue to clear out garage. Insulate the door. We did clear out the garage, but we also filled it up again with school stuff and baby stuff. Oops? We definitely didn't insulate the door...

4. Power wash the house! It's getting green and brown streaks from the trees, leaves, and moisture. It is still green and brown from the trees, leaves, and moisture...

5. Lose some baby weight. How about gain more weight?

6. Stay positive through the new school year, even with increased demands and cut holiday and work day time due to construction. It's going to be tough with a new baby, but staying positive is the only thing that will help. I have tried my best to stay positive, and for the most part, it has worked! Attitude is everything. It hasn't been perfect, but I've been happier this year than most years of my job. I think it's because I've had such a great little prize to get home to every day. It also helped put life and stress into perspective. What's really important?

Here's a list of 2014--the good and the bad--as much as I can remember--and some of it comes from me searching through my e-mail to see what I e-mailed myself about; yes, I do this to keep tabs on things, such as Charlie's firsts and our firsts. This list will be more boring than some years for outsiders, but for me, it will be very special, so I'm taking the time to jot some things down that are seemingly unimportant:

1. Mr. M passed away--beautiful funeral for him at the school
2. We found out Charlie was a BOY! That was a very cool day. We decided not to discuss names that very day, but I was already talking about them early the next morning. We bought Charlie his first hat on the way home--a light blue cap.
3. Justin coached all through spring. Hell!
4. Justin got great pass rates at his school that was under AYP. The goal was achieved and Justin had excellent personal scores for his kids. This was wonderful news!
5. I discovered the generosity of strangers: when Charlie was born, people came to bring us dinners, dropped off clothes at our doorstep, and left sweet notes for us. It was bewildering. I tend to be shy or withdrawn with things like that, but these people were coming into my house, introducing themselves, and putting a full dinner in my refrigerator. After these visitors, and after those that gave meals to my family in NY the previous year, I realized how special it was to bring a meal to someone, and I try to do the same. Pay it forward, right?
6. We didn't go anywhere. I didn't swim once over the summer--I don't think. But what's really odd is that this didn't bother either of us. We were so enraptured by this little creature who was now ours. We were happy to get out to grab coffee.
7. We did, however, figure out how to take care of a baby. Laughable enough, here was my (huge) first list of concerns for the doctor:
Very girgly/bubbly loud stomach when nursing
When can we give baths?
Belly button care. Just fell off last night
Farts while nursing 
Bad acne
Soft spot on head 
Breathing
Nose flares
Not spittimg up much
Acting uninterested in nursing slightly
How much shojld he get? Will my milk supply grow with him?
Not wanting to go back to sleep
8. June 8, 2014: First smile with daddy.
9. We totally stressed out about babysitters. I called so many people, but they were all booked. Thankfully, we did find a reliable babysitter, and so far she has been great.
10. August 2, 2014: 10:30 p.m. - 7:30 a.m. Charlie slept all night, and he woke up happy!
11. August 15, 2014: We had friends over, and it showed us that we could still have fun. We were able to hang out on the deck while Charlie slept. It was an entertaining and new concept to watch the video monitor for possible stirring.
12. I learned who my real friends were and are. These are people who care about me and my family. These people show love and kindness. I also discovered who I wasn't really close to and probably wouldn't get any closer to. There is a peace in knowing that it's okay to move forward without worrying about it.
13. September 29, 2014: Charlie rolled over for the first time at the babysitter's--then for us that night.
14. October 11, 2014: Charlie started to cuddle with me--for real.
15. We had a tree-service company take down about ten trees in our yard. This was helpful for our roof and our (potential) grass. It brought it a little more light, and there might have been less leaves this fall, but we will never notice. There are way too many leaves.
16. November 13, 2014: Charlie started turning pages in books.
17. I successfully sent Christmas gifts to my upstate family. I got something for everyone, and it really put me in the Christmas spirit.
18. This was my first list of what to buy after Charlie was born:
Rock n play
Swaddlers for newborns
Rug for living room 
Razors for Venus 
Mirror for car 
19. Here's my first e-mail to Dana about our horrendous first few nights after Charlie was born--May 12th:
"So tonight I feel significantly better.  So far of course. Still hours ahead. What I decided was that we should sleep downstairs, and that has been perfect. The tv was on all evening, the bassinet is down here, and we both have a couch. I took a cat nap between 10-12, and then we fed him around midngiht. He was done by 1 am, so now he's in his cradle. The biggest difference is that we are swaddling correctly, so he  doesn't fuss as much. I also have milk now, so I think that helps. He's jist been calmer overall. He doesn't seem to want to fully commit to sleep right now, but I'm hoping and crossing my fingers. My least fav part is being awake alone with Justin asleep, but this atmosphere is less depressing. The bed was just so hard to get out of. Alright off to try to nap for a bit.   

Ok so it's 3 am and he's still asleep, but he seems to be starting to wake up slowly. I got two hours of very little interrupted sleep! It's 345 and he's done, so we will see if he is going to go back to sleep for us or not...

And he did, eventually, until 5. J is trying to comfort him now . I had to breast feed him again, and j held him. Another waiting game now

He started whining at some point, and he wouldn't stop the blood curdling cry, so I put him on his back between ny legs. We slept soundly until 8 am lol."

20. My best friend had her second baby! She is such a little blessing.
21. I quit my job at PH after working during my entire pregnancy.
22. Justin and I were both crazy enough to do summer school. Justin did summer school through my county, so that was funny. We alternated weeks, which worked perfectly! It gave us something to do for a month.

Here's my list for 2015 that I would like to achieve:

1. Stay positive: this is a mind thing, and I'm getting better and better at it.
2. Bring Charlie to the beach for the first time. Spring break?
3. Lose weight aka fit into my pencil skirts again :(
4. Power wash the house
5. PASS two teacher license renewal classes this spring (horrible timing, yes?), and RENEW my teaching license!
6. Continue to not take many sick days at work. I haven't taken one yet, and we are in a very condensed, harsh schedule, but it's been working out just fine. I need sick days for Charlie and to save up for a few years from now!
7. Have another baby. HAHAHAHA KIDDING.
8. Replace the flooring in our living room, or have it cleaned professionally.
9. Take a vacation or two this summer--or lay low, happily, like last summer.
10. Get a better handle on finances; create a plan
11. Get through our first full year of parenthood, keep learning, and joyfully move to year two. Wow.

This is what I have for now.

Happy New Year!