[written earlier than posted--Charlie is now almost 6 weeks old]]
My sweet, amazing little boy is four weeks old (yesterday), and I don't even know where to start. First of all, here's a post I did on social media after the first seven days of being a mom:
7 things learned in 7 days of parenting:
1. J can now safely and believably blame farts on the baby.
2. Getting out of the house takes an unknown, lengthy amount of time.
3. Every look and smile from Charlie makes me at least okay with the crazy experience of labor and birth. I could sit and stare at him for two hours straight (check).
4. It takes a newborn baby in my car for me to finally change my bad driving habits.
5. It takes about five days, but I finally feel confident in my ability to be a parent. Justin has been amazing, and he has completely stepped up as a wonderful dad.
6. People want to help and stop by and bring food. As much as I want to do everything myself, it is not realistic. I take the help gladly.
7. What's left of pregnancy weight and stretch marks doesn't bother me much because I'm a warrior woman, I birthed a baby, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Now that it's been four weeks, there are at least twenty-five other things I would need to add to that list, but I guess that wouldn't be fun to just write a big list. Well, maybe it would. I do like lists. I'll try not to make it twenty-five more things.
[after four weeks]
8. It is possible to go places, and it can be fun, but having a newborn adds an entirely new element. Are they going to cry in the coffee shop? Can I carry the meal I bought and the carrier?
9. Long baths at night are appreciated more than they ever, ever were. I like to make them last as long as possible.
10. Reading for fun must be done in the bath. Otherwise, it will never get done.
11. Charlie changes every day. He looks so old sometimes; I feel like I can see him as a teenager sometimes, and it's amazing.
12. I love being with him, but after a long day, my yearning is to get out, take a drive, and get away by myself for a while. Luckily, J respects this, and it doesn't happen every day. It happens about once a week.
13. Sleep is never guaranteed. It is very sporadic. And it consists of bringing out the boobs every time I'm awake to feed the babe. And that takes about forty minutes each time.
14. I never thought I could feel like a cow, but it is definitely possible and true. Having a machine suck our your nipples right before your eyes is a little self deprecating. Especially when your husband has to laugh at it, too.
15. I am with Charlie all day. J is at work all day. With this said, I have very quickly learned Charlie's cries and personality, and I think it will take a lot longer for J. I can also change a diaper in record time, and J takes like ten minutes. It bothers me, yes, but he's learning.
16. The car does NOT always put Charlie to sleep. There have been a couple of scream-bloody-murder-until-home rides. Luckily, they were only about fifteen minutes, but my ears were definitely ringing afterward.
17. Babies fight sleep. It's so annoying! Just go to sleep! Don't you realize how amazing sleep is!
18. Watching shows will become a very interrupted task.
19. I am a better person because of him.
20. My husband and I make a great team.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Meet Charlie
8 lbs 15 oz
20 inches
He's already changed so much, but here's one of the first pictures I took of him.
I'm perfectly in love.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Pre-baby fun
pre-baby activities
In the two weeks before Charlie's due date (which has now passed), we have kept busy. I've been working every day, but listed below are some other things we have done:
- April 19: ice cream with Matt and mom who came to visit!
- April 26: Art show with Dana and friends for school. 11-3. Good times, beautiful artwork, mom brought us lunch and bought Charlie a super hero cape!
- April 27: BLT with avocado sandwiches, friends over from work, game time, lunch on the back deck under the umbrella
- April 30: to my attempt-to-get-things-rolling appointment with Dana; doctor was sure it would work! Afterward, we got a great "last meal" of Chinese buffet, which I hadn't had in forever. SO GOOD. Then we go Castor Oil and called it a night.
- May 1: Nothing worked from the previous day; realization that it could be much later on started to settle in, along with my loose stomach, went to work the next day anyway, after only sleeping a couple of hours due to fake contractions and stomach fun! :) It's a good thing I didn't stay home from work. I would have been wondering if something would happen all day, and sure enough, it still hasn't!
- Captain America: Winter Soldier (not sure what day), but we were the ONLY TWO PEOPLE in the theater! It was AWESOME. I thought it was meant to be, totally.
- May 2: downtown mall for Fridays after Five, pizza, music, tried to find the lemon cupcakes but they were closed, didn't take the elevator in the parking garage, cleaned glasses at the mall, too swollen to go to the movie
- May 3: The Amazing Spider Man II, shopping trip to Anthropologie, coffee at the best place, lunch with mom, visit from Steve, cleaned car, ice cream with Lindsey and John, new knife set (lol), J sent me flowers and I almost told the lady "I'm not interested in anything you have." It's a good thing I didn't because it was a home flower delivery. Those things always freak me out lol. J gave me a beautiful card and a sweet gift commemorating the babe.
- May the 4th be with you? More than likely, no. It's already 10:30 a.m., and I'm not feeling any different. My labor will likely last into the next day.
- Cinco de Mayo? Day of the Dead? As weird as people may think this is, I think it's a sweet birthday for a kid. We have hispanic culture in our small northern family, and this day doesn't have to be dark, so it'd be fine!
- Next big day? May 11, Mother's Day. Sure, this could be nice, but I'm not sure if he would want to share a birthday with a holiday?
I'll probably be induced before then, even though I don't want to be, because Charlie will be getting big, and the doctor will want to get him out while he and I are still healthy!
We've done more than the list above, but I'll edit this later. I just had to jot down a few things!
WISH US LUCK!
See you tomorrow at work...
In the two weeks before Charlie's due date (which has now passed), we have kept busy. I've been working every day, but listed below are some other things we have done:
- April 19: ice cream with Matt and mom who came to visit!
- April 26: Art show with Dana and friends for school. 11-3. Good times, beautiful artwork, mom brought us lunch and bought Charlie a super hero cape!
- April 27: BLT with avocado sandwiches, friends over from work, game time, lunch on the back deck under the umbrella
- April 30: to my attempt-to-get-things-rolling appointment with Dana; doctor was sure it would work! Afterward, we got a great "last meal" of Chinese buffet, which I hadn't had in forever. SO GOOD. Then we go Castor Oil and called it a night.
- May 1: Nothing worked from the previous day; realization that it could be much later on started to settle in, along with my loose stomach, went to work the next day anyway, after only sleeping a couple of hours due to fake contractions and stomach fun! :) It's a good thing I didn't stay home from work. I would have been wondering if something would happen all day, and sure enough, it still hasn't!
- Captain America: Winter Soldier (not sure what day), but we were the ONLY TWO PEOPLE in the theater! It was AWESOME. I thought it was meant to be, totally.
- May 2: downtown mall for Fridays after Five, pizza, music, tried to find the lemon cupcakes but they were closed, didn't take the elevator in the parking garage, cleaned glasses at the mall, too swollen to go to the movie
- May 3: The Amazing Spider Man II, shopping trip to Anthropologie, coffee at the best place, lunch with mom, visit from Steve, cleaned car, ice cream with Lindsey and John, new knife set (lol), J sent me flowers and I almost told the lady "I'm not interested in anything you have." It's a good thing I didn't because it was a home flower delivery. Those things always freak me out lol. J gave me a beautiful card and a sweet gift commemorating the babe.
- May the 4th be with you? More than likely, no. It's already 10:30 a.m., and I'm not feeling any different. My labor will likely last into the next day.
- Cinco de Mayo? Day of the Dead? As weird as people may think this is, I think it's a sweet birthday for a kid. We have hispanic culture in our small northern family, and this day doesn't have to be dark, so it'd be fine!
- Next big day? May 11, Mother's Day. Sure, this could be nice, but I'm not sure if he would want to share a birthday with a holiday?
I'll probably be induced before then, even though I don't want to be, because Charlie will be getting big, and the doctor will want to get him out while he and I are still healthy!
We've done more than the list above, but I'll edit this later. I just had to jot down a few things!
WISH US LUCK!
See you tomorrow at work...
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Dearest Charlie
Dearest Charlie,
I love you.
Did I just say that to a member of the opposite sex without having met them? I guess I did. What's incredible is that I am completely, most positively sure how much I love you, and I've never even touched you with my fingertips. You've touched my insides, but that's a little different, and it sounds a little gross, so it doesn't count.
Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not a little--a lot--nervous and afraid. I mean, you're going to be a lot to handle. The most I've had to deal with in this life is, well, myself. I'd say I'm probably my own problem most of the time. It's a little scary to think that instead of getting my tears wiped away, I'll be wiping all of yours away. And instead of someone holding my hair when I'm sick, I'll be wiping your head with a cold wash cloth, stroking your back, soothing you. I've only recently grown comfortable holding other little babies, thanks to your cousins, and I couldn't tell you the first step to getting a baby to have a regular sleep cycle, or how to potty train. I also don't do well without sleep, and the word on the street is that I won't sleep for the next twenty years. I hope you'll realize that I love you, even when I'm grumpy from lack of sleep.
Somehow, though, I know "everything will be alright" when you arrive in just a number of days.
That doesn't mean it's going to be easy. I hear you're going to be a pain--literally. Supposedly, after pushing you out, I'm going to have sore boobs, a sore butt, and I'll probably have bladder problems my entire life. I already have some stretch marks, which I despise, and I can imagine with my stomach will look like once it's...deflated. What's weird, though, is that I really don't mind. I'm not sure that I would be able to say that for many other people in my life, so you're one lucky dude.
We're going to have our good days and our bad days. I'm sure you'll hear me cry a few times--heck, who am I kidding? We'll be crying together, wondering why we aren't asleep, and I hope it doesn't bother you. In fact, this winter was slow and sorrowful. I hope it didn't bother you when my grandma passed away in November, or when my friend passed away in January. I couldn't help but cry a few times, but I felt your comfort, and I knew you were strong. Some say, "Don't get stressed; it'll hurt the baby." Well, things happen, and for me, it happened all at once. I knew I wasn't alone, and I knew that even if you felt my pain, you would be okay, and you are still here, beautifully active at almost thirty-nine weeks. I can't wait to tell you stories of my grandma, the woman who wanted to put her funeral plans away "until May," being just one of the many people in our family who have made a huge impact on me, and soon, you.
You're going to be a big boy, from what I've been told. I can tell. I have a huge stomach now, and the other night, you were sticking limbs out all over--enough, even, to wake me in the middle of the night. But, I love your size. It means I can feel your little feet stretching out on the right side of my stomach, under my ribs, and I can also feel you below my belly-button, pushing on my bladder. I can feel your length, and I'm guessing I feel the weight of your cheeks, if you got them from your mother, that is.
Your size and placement don't make things easy these days, but I'm okay with it, and I love you just the same. My love for you is much larger than the slight physical pain of pregnancy, or the increased trips to the bathroom.
Charlie, I really love you. You'll get to know me over the years, and you'll realize how completely weird I am. You'll hear my sarcastic jokes, but hopefully you won't pick the habit up too quickly. You'll probably hear me use choice profanity at poor drivers, or when I totally screw something up, or playing a serious game of Scrabble, but let's hope you won't pick that up either. Fingers crossed. You'll hear me sing at the top of my lungs, as I do now, and you'll probably ask me to stop, and it'll break my heart. But I hope you do pick up that habit of singing without a care. Your dad did, so you'll hear him sing all sorts of notes and pitches, without concern of whether or not they are correct. But he's super happy, and you'll see that, and that's important.
Speaking of him, I can't wait for you to meet your daddy. He loves children, and he is so excited to meet you. I can tell he is so proud of you already. He has been able to feel how active you are, and he likes to say that you'll be a "ninja baby." See? You'll like him. He's a little weird, too, just like me. Get used to weird. But know that we'll love you so, so much. Your dad is a tender, sensitive person, with a marvelous sense of humor, and a laugh that will forever stick in your mind. (He's not always a pushover, though, so he might be the tough one at times. More than likely, I'll be the tough one, but you'll get used to that.) Your dad is going to read to you, take you on walks, bring you in the yard to play, sing to you, and make you some excellent food. He's going to teach you so many things; he's so smart. Plan on asking him all of the important questions. He'll be able to tell you why the sky is blue and the difference between snow and sleet. You'll do experiments with him, and you'll learn to cook from him. You'll also witness how to treat a girl with respect. Since we're much older than you, and married, he will likely grab my butt in front of you, and I'll grab his right back, so I'm sorry for that in advance. You'll learn patience from him, and you'll learn how to be a good person. Whether or not you choose that route will be up to you, but know that I am confident I picked the best man to be your role model.
I should warn you: you will have three siblings when you enter this world. Their names are Sadie, Henry, and Ava, and they are here to love you. Sadie will act like your second mom, hovering and protecting. Ava will likely be a princess, but she'll want to share space with you, cuddling. Henry will lick you, and he'll lick you a lot. You'll probably love it, but I'll try to keep him under control. We'll have to come home every day and feed them, take them outside, but you'll probably love their company. They are some of the best pets. We couldn't ask for better.
You also should know that your daddy and I are both teachers. This means that we, at any time, could mention our "kids." When we say this, it means our bundles of rotating energy at school. You'll likely hear: "I love those kids," or other more negative things, after a bad day. You'll always be number one, though. I hope you see that both of your parents have the ridiculous gene that makes them inclined to help people, even if it takes extra time. Big hearts run in the family; this makes life more difficult sometimes, but it also makes life more rewarding. You'll see.
With that said, in just ten days, you are due to enter this world. I'm also turning 27. You'll be my birthday present, no matter what day you actually arrive. You'll be the best gift I've ever received. You've been handmade by God, so you are top quality. I won't have to wonder whether or not I'm getting you; I won't have to unwrap you. Sure, childbirth is going to be a heck of a lot harder than opening a present, but it'll be well worth it.
I don't know who you'll become when you're five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five, or fifty-five. I know I can't completely control who you become, as much as I may want to at times, so I'll try to let you figure things out. No matter what, you'll always be my baby, and I'll always be there for you.
Charlie, I completely love you, and I can't wait to meet you.
love, mom
I love you.
Did I just say that to a member of the opposite sex without having met them? I guess I did. What's incredible is that I am completely, most positively sure how much I love you, and I've never even touched you with my fingertips. You've touched my insides, but that's a little different, and it sounds a little gross, so it doesn't count.
Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not a little--a lot--nervous and afraid. I mean, you're going to be a lot to handle. The most I've had to deal with in this life is, well, myself. I'd say I'm probably my own problem most of the time. It's a little scary to think that instead of getting my tears wiped away, I'll be wiping all of yours away. And instead of someone holding my hair when I'm sick, I'll be wiping your head with a cold wash cloth, stroking your back, soothing you. I've only recently grown comfortable holding other little babies, thanks to your cousins, and I couldn't tell you the first step to getting a baby to have a regular sleep cycle, or how to potty train. I also don't do well without sleep, and the word on the street is that I won't sleep for the next twenty years. I hope you'll realize that I love you, even when I'm grumpy from lack of sleep.
Somehow, though, I know "everything will be alright" when you arrive in just a number of days.
That doesn't mean it's going to be easy. I hear you're going to be a pain--literally. Supposedly, after pushing you out, I'm going to have sore boobs, a sore butt, and I'll probably have bladder problems my entire life. I already have some stretch marks, which I despise, and I can imagine with my stomach will look like once it's...deflated. What's weird, though, is that I really don't mind. I'm not sure that I would be able to say that for many other people in my life, so you're one lucky dude.
We're going to have our good days and our bad days. I'm sure you'll hear me cry a few times--heck, who am I kidding? We'll be crying together, wondering why we aren't asleep, and I hope it doesn't bother you. In fact, this winter was slow and sorrowful. I hope it didn't bother you when my grandma passed away in November, or when my friend passed away in January. I couldn't help but cry a few times, but I felt your comfort, and I knew you were strong. Some say, "Don't get stressed; it'll hurt the baby." Well, things happen, and for me, it happened all at once. I knew I wasn't alone, and I knew that even if you felt my pain, you would be okay, and you are still here, beautifully active at almost thirty-nine weeks. I can't wait to tell you stories of my grandma, the woman who wanted to put her funeral plans away "until May," being just one of the many people in our family who have made a huge impact on me, and soon, you.
You're going to be a big boy, from what I've been told. I can tell. I have a huge stomach now, and the other night, you were sticking limbs out all over--enough, even, to wake me in the middle of the night. But, I love your size. It means I can feel your little feet stretching out on the right side of my stomach, under my ribs, and I can also feel you below my belly-button, pushing on my bladder. I can feel your length, and I'm guessing I feel the weight of your cheeks, if you got them from your mother, that is.
Your size and placement don't make things easy these days, but I'm okay with it, and I love you just the same. My love for you is much larger than the slight physical pain of pregnancy, or the increased trips to the bathroom.
Charlie, I really love you. You'll get to know me over the years, and you'll realize how completely weird I am. You'll hear my sarcastic jokes, but hopefully you won't pick the habit up too quickly. You'll probably hear me use choice profanity at poor drivers, or when I totally screw something up, or playing a serious game of Scrabble, but let's hope you won't pick that up either. Fingers crossed. You'll hear me sing at the top of my lungs, as I do now, and you'll probably ask me to stop, and it'll break my heart. But I hope you do pick up that habit of singing without a care. Your dad did, so you'll hear him sing all sorts of notes and pitches, without concern of whether or not they are correct. But he's super happy, and you'll see that, and that's important.
Speaking of him, I can't wait for you to meet your daddy. He loves children, and he is so excited to meet you. I can tell he is so proud of you already. He has been able to feel how active you are, and he likes to say that you'll be a "ninja baby." See? You'll like him. He's a little weird, too, just like me. Get used to weird. But know that we'll love you so, so much. Your dad is a tender, sensitive person, with a marvelous sense of humor, and a laugh that will forever stick in your mind. (He's not always a pushover, though, so he might be the tough one at times. More than likely, I'll be the tough one, but you'll get used to that.) Your dad is going to read to you, take you on walks, bring you in the yard to play, sing to you, and make you some excellent food. He's going to teach you so many things; he's so smart. Plan on asking him all of the important questions. He'll be able to tell you why the sky is blue and the difference between snow and sleet. You'll do experiments with him, and you'll learn to cook from him. You'll also witness how to treat a girl with respect. Since we're much older than you, and married, he will likely grab my butt in front of you, and I'll grab his right back, so I'm sorry for that in advance. You'll learn patience from him, and you'll learn how to be a good person. Whether or not you choose that route will be up to you, but know that I am confident I picked the best man to be your role model.
I should warn you: you will have three siblings when you enter this world. Their names are Sadie, Henry, and Ava, and they are here to love you. Sadie will act like your second mom, hovering and protecting. Ava will likely be a princess, but she'll want to share space with you, cuddling. Henry will lick you, and he'll lick you a lot. You'll probably love it, but I'll try to keep him under control. We'll have to come home every day and feed them, take them outside, but you'll probably love their company. They are some of the best pets. We couldn't ask for better.
You also should know that your daddy and I are both teachers. This means that we, at any time, could mention our "kids." When we say this, it means our bundles of rotating energy at school. You'll likely hear: "I love those kids," or other more negative things, after a bad day. You'll always be number one, though. I hope you see that both of your parents have the ridiculous gene that makes them inclined to help people, even if it takes extra time. Big hearts run in the family; this makes life more difficult sometimes, but it also makes life more rewarding. You'll see.
With that said, in just ten days, you are due to enter this world. I'm also turning 27. You'll be my birthday present, no matter what day you actually arrive. You'll be the best gift I've ever received. You've been handmade by God, so you are top quality. I won't have to wonder whether or not I'm getting you; I won't have to unwrap you. Sure, childbirth is going to be a heck of a lot harder than opening a present, but it'll be well worth it.
I don't know who you'll become when you're five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five, or fifty-five. I know I can't completely control who you become, as much as I may want to at times, so I'll try to let you figure things out. No matter what, you'll always be my baby, and I'll always be there for you.
Charlie, I completely love you, and I can't wait to meet you.
love, mom
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