Thankful

I feel a bit odd writing about religion, spirituality, whatever you want to call it, but I shall indeed write on...

The Glee episode this week was surprisingly religious. It was filled with gospel music (which I happen to adore) and other spiritual songs. It was weird to watch because I haven't been to church in long time. I hate writing about religion (usually), and I don't enjoy arguing about it either. However, I plan to touch on a few topics that come to mind....
Where it began for me: My childhood was filled with church because my family attended each week. My dad has always played his trumpet and sang in the church band, so I was surrounded with late nights in the basement watching him practice. Even though he wasn't always playing church music (most likely it was jazz), I still mostly remember the Christian music we sang together while he would chime in on the trumpet. My mom would always play Christian music in the car and everywhere. I grew up singing with Amy Grant--she was my favorite, and I thought I sounded like her. Also, many of my close childhood friends were from church, so that was an influence.

Starting in high school and college, I used to sing on the stage every Sunday with our church band (totally hip). That was the most moving part of my week--to have the mic in hand and think only about what I was singing. No matter how exhausted I was each Sunday morning, there was always a moment that refreshed me.  I still have a notebook filled with hundreds of worship songs I would flip through each week. There were a few that had specific parts (I usually did alto harmony) that would give me chills each time.

On a different note, there were also negative outward influences on my spiritual living. I was exposed to a very religious family during high school, and I went to church three times each week. I knew people there that were completely different when they stepped into the church parking lot after sitting through a service. I knew people that preached, only to turn around and live completely different lives than what they claimed. These people hurt me a great deal, making me feel insecure in my spiritual side. They showed me the negative side of religion and all that comes with it. Thing is, though, everyone meets these people. I guess it's the choice of whether or not to judge an entire religion off of those people, or get rid of them.I did get rid of them, but it still affects how I view religion today. I choose not to push any specific type of worship or beliefs on anyone because everyone has their own relationship and their own comfort. If I push it on someone else, they will only see me as as close-minded person. Why would I want to do that? If I was affected so greatly by something, and I was a Christian at the time--how would another feel if they weren't religious at all?

I also prefer not to talk about denominations because they are all so different. Right away, people are judged for his or her denomination, and some of them actually feel like they have closer relationships with God than other churches. I see no point in this, as it is creating separation and outcasts.

Even though I haven't been to church in a while, and I have been living the college lifestyle for a while, I am still thankful I was brought up in a church. I am far from the outwardly "religious" type, and I prefer to stay away from that term, but I know that when I see a green and blue painting of a view in front of me called nature--there lies my faith, and it's a beautiful thing. I picture church on a mountainside or in a field of flowers, where all you see is creation. To me, that is perfect.