Since I have a (future) niece now, it got me thinking about babies and my complicated relationship with them. To be honest, I have never felt comfortable holding other people's babies or babysitting very much. However, I always helped in church nursery growing up. I guess it was okay because there were other adults in the room that could grab the crying baby if need be. I also did a couple babysitting jobs--I hated the one I did by myself, and the ones with friends were only just okay. Thing is, I don't think I was a fan of other kids because I was still young myself (high school/middle school), and I also was blown away by how different each family was with their rules and how they treated their kids. Babysitting was too much for me.
One thing has never changed, though: I have always wanted kids.
And now that I already have a little baby to celebrate in the family, I'm ready to love her. I realize that I have grown into someone that is ready to be an aunt for a little girl, and I can't wait for her to know me as one. I look up to my aunts so much--they are amazing. There is something special about an aunt.. it's not your mom or your grandma or sister.. but someone so special. I look forward to being there for her and being a good role model for her. I also look forward to watching her grow up and hopefully being there for her for years and years. I want to give her what my aunts have given me. My aunt d is an art teacher, a goofy-amazing story teller, and an absolutely amazing singer. My aunt m was a lawyer, became a teacher, and is one of the most chill, loving, well-dressed women I have ever met. They are -- in short -- fantastic.
I am DEFINITELY not ready for kids, but one day I will be. For now, I'll give my niece all the love I can.
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