I always do a New Year's post. Before I write it, I check back on the previous year to see what I wanted to accomplish, what weight I didn't lose yet (ha), and what I didn't accomplish--all with honest reflection of what I want to then do the next year.
Looking back also makes me realize that life is a crazy, hectic, chaotic, beautiful mess, and each year seems to come with more blind turns. This year has felt much...heavier than last year, for many reasons. Although we had more total deaths last year--family and pets included--this year has created a new meaning of grief for me.
We started the end of the summer (two weeks before school started) with a heavy blow. Mom left her dog with us to go to visit family, and the dog just couldn't handle being away. She was old, and she went into seizures that we couldn't stop. After an emergency visit to the vet at almost midnight, mom had to give the okay, over the phone, twelve hours away, to put her down. We said goodbye, and it was one of the saddest little things I've experienced. It is so painful to see a living animal have to get put down. You have hope that they could continue, but you know nothing is left.
Two weeks later, which would be the first week of school, I found out a co-worker and old teacher of mine was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Even though you can't do much to help, you still try, and they are always in the back of your mind. I have hope for this friend, but it doesn't seem to be an easy path so far.
A week later, which would have been September 2nd, J and I found out we were pregnant! This was such good news, and we were, and still are, so excited. Within a week, I started feeling that sickness from when I woke up until around noon each day. This lasted about a month I'd say, but I never got sick, so I was lucky. It still was exhausting. I couldn't seem to stay awake past 5:30 p.m. I was constantly falling asleep on the couch after school, which is totally out of character for me.
About a month later...October 7th(?), I got a call at school that my grandma was in the hospital. Fast-forward to November 25th, and I got the call that she had passed that morning between 4:30-5:30 a.m. Fast-forward to today, one month later, and it's hard to believe it even happened. The sadness is real, and the inability to bring her back, or call her, is real, and it's setting in.
With the past fall season in mind, let's look back on last year, and let's look ahead to the future.
So, here's my list from last year (the end of 2012). Let's see how I did (I've written comments):
1. Run a race. I am signing up for a 6-miler in March. Check! I ran in the color-me-run. It was great! I ran the entire race.
3. Keep my positive energy for 2013. This year has been filled with positivity, especially at work, and I'd like to continue that. I can't say that I didn't try, but by September, it was looking a little bleak. Sometimes life just doesn't let you feel positive all the time.
4. Read for fun more. I'm in the middle of The Great Gatsby again, but I'd like to read far more. I own many, but I haven't found time for them. Less internet and more reading? Achieved! Not only did I read the book listed, but I also read a great mystery at the beach, along with a couple of other fun books. Justin got me a kindle for Christmas, and I've already uploaded some books I'm really excited about.
5. Learn and build my photography hobby. I'd like to learn how to shoot in raw, manual, and more about editing. I'd also like one more lens... Well, fat chance on the new lens, but I DID learn how to shoot in raw and manual mode, and my god, what a difference. What took me so long??
6. Eat more fresh food. I find I have the easiest time with this during the summer. Everything is fresh, it's hot outside, and I don't feel like eating much. I need to work on this throughout the year. Maybe it's just the places I'm shopping! Does the fact that I've eaten more apples and oranges while pregnant than in my entire life count? Okay, I guess not...
7. Organize the garage and decide how we're going to rake all of the leaves in a timely way next year (they're still on the ground from the second fall. We did so well when the first big batch fell). Well, we DID organize the garage a lot, but we didn't find a leaf cure. They're still on the ground. Cough.
8. Take a trip or two. I'd like to go somewhere a little farther this year...CA, a Caribbean island, Florida, the ideas are endless. We didn't go very far, but we did travel! We went north to see the family, but we also took some side trips to the mountains and to see a castle. It was great! We also went camping at the beach for the first time, which rocked.
9. In relation to above: take my first flight in a plane. You read that correctly; I've never flown. I'd like to fly before I'm thirty! :) This almost happened when I was going to make a quick trip up north to say goodbye to my grandma. Luckily, though, J was able to go up with me on another weekend, so we drove.
10. Read The New Testament. And understand it. Justin will help with this! Nope. Luckily I can continue this goal.
11. Sing more. I used to sing all the time. I would turn on music, find karaoke youtube videos, and sing for hours. Now I sing in the worship band, which I love, but I rarely sing on my own. I even have my own house for singing extra loud now, and I used to sing in small apartments. It's the perfect opportunity! I don't see much on my own in my house, but I sing much more with the band at church. I feel like I get to sing at least every couple of weeks, if not more, which has been really healing and therapeutic.
Here's a list of 2013--the good and the bad--as much as I can remember:
1. Went to a play on my birthday.
2. Re-decorated the living room--painted it and got some new furniture with summer school money.
3. Met new friends--wonderful friends--mostly at work.
4. Kept the same jobs!
5. Got pregnant! :D
6. Dressed up a washing machine for Halloween. WINNING.
7. J stained the front porch.
8. Cicadas came out and buzzed for a while.
9. Took my first nap on a road trip. Justin even got photo evidence.
10. Mom got a new puppy--Sonnie.
11. We (almost) did a puzzle. It was fun while it lasted.
12. Went strawberry/raspberry picking.
13. Justin grew out his beard longer than it's ever been. I can't say I want it back.
14. We have decided that July 4th is a bad holiday for us. Something always goes wrong if we try to go out. It's good to note this early in the relationship.
15. Justin went golfing for the first time.
16. We visited a huge CASTLE.
17. Spiders took over. I don't even want to think about it. HUGE spider in our house. Thank goodness we only saw one. There were others.
18. We started exercising, seriously!! I lost weight...and then I found out I was pregnant, proceeding to not eat much because I felt sick all the time, not move much because I was sleeping all the time, and not exercise at all because I was PREGNANT, dammit! (Now I realize I need to start.)
19. We had our first yard sale, and got $100.
20. We FINALLY got to go back to our college for a football game!!
21. I found "a bleached hair" in Justin's head for the first time. We're getting older. lol. At least he's getting older first.
22. I got a second job, part-time, working at a place very close to where we met but also working with people I know! It's not bad at all.
23. Beto had a baby: Julian! What a sweetheart.
24. Iron Man 3 came out on my birthday!! Last year it was Marvel Avengers. What will it be this year!?
25. Saw the best fireworks show I've ever seen up north--and my grandma came. It was the last event and time I got to hang out with her.
And here's my list for 2014 that I would like to achieve:
1. Have a healthy baby, and find the patience and love involved in being a new mom.
2. Organize/add shelves to the mudroom/laundry room.
3. Continue to clear out garage. Insulate the door.
4. Power wash the house! It's getting green and brown streaks from the trees, leaves, and moisture.
5. Lose some baby weight.
6. Stay positive through the new school year, even with increased demands and cut holiday and work day time due to construction. It's going to be tough with a new baby, but staying positive is the only thing that will help.
**More later, but this is how far I got, and I need to post this before it's too far into January for it to have relevance.**
Happy New Year!
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