5 Things

I had my students write a paper about the five things in life they have learned thus far. After reading a few of them, I realized how hard it must be to pinpoint those things in such a short amount of time. I feel like I've learned a lot in my life so far, but my answers are different from theirs. It's not that they're completely different, but for instance, I wouldn't say "don't do drugs" simply because I'm past the point of my life that I would feel pressure from others to do so. Instead, I might say, "don't let your life be lead by something other than yourself" -- such as work, relationships, kids at school, parents, etc.

Here are the five things - okay, so I combined a couple - I have come up with that I have learned so far (subject to change, and in no particular order) --

1. Think for yourself and don't worry about what other people think. There are too many times that other people try to think for you. They try to tell you who you are or where you belong. Stop listening to them, and listen to yourself. You are the only one that really knows what's going on. Don't worry about what other people think. This is a biggy for me. I used to always worry about what other people thought about me. It was a consistent thought in my mind from elementary school through part of college. Somewhere along the line, I just decided to stop worrying. I am me.

2. Do not work hard for relationships that aren't worth it, and keep your standards high. This sounds a bit harsh, but it's true. There have been friendships or relationships in my past that I held on to just so that I wouldn't be left lonely. The truth is, they never were good relationships for me; they were more harmful than anything. Listen to yourself, and rid your life of people that only make things harder. It's not a selfish thing to do; you deserve to do it! If anyone takes you for granted or treats you poorly, consider them unimportant in your life. Keep your standards high. This is for everything, but mostly for the opposite sex. Bad experiences taught me to value myself always. My mom used to tell me that I was a "prize." I had a hard time taking that kind of compliment, but it's true, and it's true for you. Each person is a prize for someone else. It's just a matter of finding that other person. Don't lower your standards and marry the first person that gives you attention. Don't give that guy a second date that puts you down (even just a little). Give yourself credit, and be picky. Love will happen. Friendship will happen. If you wait, it will happen in just the right ways!

3. Let go of regrets and just relax. Try not to have regrets; you learn from everything you do, and that knowledge will help you in the future. When you learn to let go, you can relax. Give yourself time each day for yourself--at least as long as you can! Value the sweet time you have with your pets or friends or lover--even if it's only for a few hours. Treasure everyone around you for what they are worth--and that's a lot. Be thankful for the time on earth we have to build relationships and spend time together, feeding each other with happiness and relaxation.

4. Get a pet. I don't care what kind; get a companion. It is worth the time and effort put into them, and you will find that they have unconditional love. They always greet you, and they are by your side no matter what you have done during the day to deserve otherwise. They get you outside in the fresh air when you normally wouldn't go; they teach you to give love and care when you otherwise wouldn't feel the need to; they remind you that there are so many beautiful creatures on the earth that deserve praise just like we do. They will always be your biggest fan. No matter what.

5. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, and make the best of each day. First of all, you need to treat others with respect just as you deserve respect from others. Give people compliments any chance you get; I assure you, it will make their day better, and it will show your care. Smile and laugh at any situation you can. If you're reading The Crucible with twenty-five eleventh graders, and you reach the part about John Proctor sweating "like a stallion," just laugh with them. It's all you can do. If you fart in public, joke about it! I promise you that the little moments you feel like you need to control fall out of place, sometimes it's better. If you've had a terrible day, try to find something good about it, or make it better. If you're sore from the gym, take a hot shower to soothe your muscles. If you feel hurt and frustrated from work, allow yourself to cry for a bit. Overall, life situations can be really terrible, and it is how you react to them that matters. This is something Justin has taught me in our relationship. You can basically give credit to him for this piece of advice because he has already successfully helped me.

Maybe I'll think of more, or expand on these later, but I feel satisfied for now :)

You cannot help but learn more as you take the world into your hands.  Take it up reverently, for it is an old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it.  ~John Updike